It can drive you crazy….people who share their opinions about how you should run your business. Especially when you haven’t even asked for their opinion or advice. πŸ™„

It’s not to say that their advice isn’t viable or useful. It certainly comes from a place of good intentions.

But unsolicited advice can lead to:
πŸ™ confusion & overwhelm.
πŸ™ a sense of feeling persecuted.
πŸ™ nagging self-doubt.

πŸ™ chasing shiny objects.

Recently, one of my members came to me with a problem. She was being bombarded with great advice. She was offered a wonderful collaboration, a generous business opportunity and valuable growth ideas by well-meaning & successful biz buddies and friends.

She felt obliged to take them all up on their offers or atleast give their advice a go.

But it was so exhausting and left her feeling scattered, without direction or focus.

So she booked a 1:1 with me, seeking my advice….the irony! πŸ˜† Except this time she asked for it specifically from me in a professional context. Big difference.

So what did I advise? Which offer should she take up? Which suggestions were best? Who should she listen to?

None.

I advised her to do nothing. Don’t take the opportunity. Leave the growth ideas on the table. Don’t go ahead with the collaboration.

…until she had reconnected with herself. First, she needed to identify HER goals, values, wants, needs, boundaries and limitations (yes, we all have limitations, which aren’t the bad thing we are led to believe they are).

Over time, she’d lost sight of who she truly was; who she truly wanted to be internally and externally.

I advised her to sit tight & explore who she is. Not what others perceived her to be or wanted her to be or even lovingly willed her to be.

Sometimes the best course of action is no course of action. Or you could be running yourself ragged, spreading yourself too thin, fulfilling OTHER people’s desires and wishes.

Because knowing yourself will underpin all of your decisions and bring certainty & confidence going forwards.

What to do when offered good but unsolicited advice?

β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹πŸ€© Firstly, say “Thank you, that sounds like something I could look into” – but do not commit to following the advice. It’s harder to pull out of a commitment than it is to avoid it in the first place!

β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹πŸ€© Ask yourself if the advice aligns with your vision for yourself and your business.
​​​​​​​​​​
β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹πŸ€© Be ruthless – ditch the ideas that mean nothing to you or feel too shiny. Identify the ones you might like to revisit another time, on your own terms.

β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹πŸ€© Keep these ideas in a ToyBox (in a dedicated note book, or on Evernote etc) ready for the right time to play with them and explore implementing them.

β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹β€‹πŸ€© Start exploring the foundational concept of “Who am I?”
​​​​​​This will help you make effective decisions that feel good.

​​​​​​​I’m putting together a free workshop on finding your personal & creative identity to bring clarity & direction to your business (and life!) Watch this space πŸ‘€